Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The hilarious and crazy shenanigans of Pakistan TV

Recent weeks have seen the latest edition of the pointless spectacle that is the Commonwealth Games being inflicted on us. But where the very existence of such dodos as the Commonwealth makes us sad and melancholy, the zany antics of the bureaucrats at Pakistan's PTV channel make us laugh and restore our good spirits.

You see, they have been showing these games on the state-run TV channel.
Now the Indian atheletes have figured prominently in these games, winning a large number of medals. The closing ceremony even had a special Indian segment, as the next edition of the Games will be held in Delhi. This recurring Indian theme did not impress PTV very much - the failures of the Pakistani contingent were embarassing enough without the salt-to-the-wounds of Indian success. Then there's the burden of history. India continues to be the enemy country, whose taint it is the duty of PTV to protect the simple sons and daughters of Pakistan from.

So it came to be that viewers in
Pakistan found that everytime the Indian national anthem was played during an awards ceremony, PTV would suddenly mute the sound in their broadcast. This had to be done 22 times. And when the Indian entertainers came on stage during the closing ceremony, PTV swung into action and completely stopped its broadcast of the event! Who knows what calamity might have happened if the faithful and pure had seen the provocative swing of Aishwarya's hips, or been exposed to her sensational mid-riff!

Fortunately disaster was averted thanks to the quick-thinking of
PTV officials, and we understand that the Islamic Republic of Pakistan and its citizens have survived unscathed and will live to see another day.