Harlots of Babylon

Of so many victims of Cobra II, none are less bemoaned than the denizens of Baghdad's red light district. I’d imagine the successors to the famed harlots of Babylon and their patrons are not having much of a good time of late — how does one enjoy the finer things in life with the fear of a bomb going off at any time? Of course for some, violence substitutes well for the other basic instinct. I suspect, when this not-quite-civil-yet war ends, the Shias with their one night marriages will own the brothels as well as the presidential palaces. Just as well, because surely the Sunni huris will have no customers with their men folk lining up for the heavenly virgins.

But need it be this way? President Bush tells us that the decision to withdraw troops will be one taken by his successor. He is of course a man of his words, so it’s probably safe to assume that 150,000 or so American troops are going to be in Iraq for a while yet. One has to wonder what the R&R situation is with these men, and women. I mean, let’s face it, these are people with biological needs. Surely the harlot is a role wandering around Iraq in search of an actress!

And it’s not like one is talking about sex slaves that our own Fuhrer's hosts in Tokyo had. No sir, nothing like that. We’re talking about free enterprise, the American fun ethic and the spirit of capitalism. We’re talking about the American government providing prepaid vouchers to its soldiers. Halliburton’s subsidiaries can run the places. And surely Desi entrepreneurs will be just the people to supply the human resources. This will be the mother of all outsourcing opportunity for Desh.

In fact, if the fruits of globalisation are to be shared equitably, it is imperative that our whores be allowed to earn foreign dollars — why should they screw the lousy truck driver with 500 rupees in his pocket when they can shag the lousy truck driver with 500 dollars? And it’s not like this hasn’t happened before — remember Bangkok during the Vietnam War?

We’d expect an ad like this to appear soon in our media.

Wanted: talented, good looking girls
To work in noisy, uncertain and unstable conditions somewhere in the Middle East. Applicant should be flexible and agile. Job provides 24 hour security and $$$. Accessories provided on the job. Life, accident and injury insurance cover provided.

If this doesn’t happen it must be because of the evil alliance of government interference and fundamentalist superstition! Evil wins if good men (and women) do nothing. So we urge the brave freedom loving American soldiers to demand reinstatement of the services provided by the harlots of Babylon.