alternate reality: future career.

One option would be to run away and grow a big beard and open a curry-house in an obscure british town, and spend the rest of my life importing illegal immigrants as waiters and selling expired curries to undiscerning customers.

My companion in my adventures would be a one-eyed Siberian wrestler. Ivan Ivanovavich wrestled with a polar bear in his youth. That's how he lost his eye. But Ivan won the fight. That's the reason he wears a polar-bear fur coat. He wears Raybans because he thinks they look cool.

If you are wondering, we met in Afghanistan during the occupation when we were fighting on opposite sides. We saw the light before most of our comrades in arms did, and decided to go into business together smuggling pornography, guns and drugs.

Anyway, back to our restaurant. Working there will be an incredibly beautiful waitress with a mysterious past. All the waiters and all our customers will be in love with her, which will also be very good for business. There will be a tiny crescent scar on her face - the only reminder of that secret, hidden past. Then one day a well-dressed stranger and a dark black cat walk in through the restaurant door...