Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Doctor Dhakna (bottlecap) Chaudry (DDC), Part II - The Red Crescent rip off

See Part I of DDC - http://amar-akbar-anthony.blogspot.com/2006/02/dr-dhakna-bottlecap-chaudry-ddc.html

Not content with running a successful practice (lying on the stretcher all day listening to Pak-India cricket commentary and cursing Mudassar Nazar’s golden arm batting while selling cockroach powder as herbal remedy for graying hair – not white but graying) DDC decided to make a surprising move to Nigeria to join his one of his brothers in law as a high authority in English language in a missionary school.

Even the dangerous Africa of the 70s was not to be spared from the wily brains of crazy DDC.

Of course the reader may not know that DDC was of the non practicing shiia sect within a sunni dominant family. And neither did the missionary school know that he was a muslim in the first place. His brother in law is to blame for that…but anyhow…Mr. Cowdrey (as mentioned on the missionary school offer letter) settled soon within the school teaching Nigerian kids, whatever broken English he learnt from Pro-Mujeeb Bengalis.

Despite the fact that his stay in Nigeria was brief (six months) it was also a learning ground for the crazy Cowdrey. First off, he started flirting with the britsh neighbour’s wife. Pretending to be a british national permanently settled in Pakistan, he mumbled some accented words convincingly enough so as to fool the people to think he was British. The skin and hair color did the rest.

Then his attempts to generate pocket money by selling cockroach powder to Nigerians resulted in him getting into trouble with the more experienced and expert black magic potion dealers.

But his big payoffs were from the home camp. The Paksitani Red Crecent and UNO peacekeepers stationed in Nigeria at the time became great friends of DDC and eventual victims.

Being an affable and friendly chap, DDC made friendship fast with the frustrated peacekeepers. Visiting them under the pretense of showing missionary kids around a UNO camp, DDC maintained a fresh supply of Pushto risqué videos to satisfy the UNO jawans and to get free access to the medical cabinet stocket with valuable medicines in return.

But the biggest snatch was the disappearance of the Red crecent ambulance, which as rumour can be seen parked outside his permanent clinic in Karachi.

It is rumored that after his mysterious departure many kids from missionary school disappeared with notes left to parents of conversion to Islam and their search of the higher Truth which Maula Cowdrey taught them after hours.

They too ended up selling Cockroach powder to graying men and women of Nigeria.