Sunday, March 26, 2006


It was one those university exam days, when you know you are going to fail all papers and nothing seems as it is. You have been visiting the library reading new age sufi books and are pretty off the track on every topic you discuss with your friends. You start talking about deeper meaning and your friends leave no chance to humiliate you on this subject.

And as you leave the student job search centre on a lazy afternoon disappointed with the options of part time jobs available you make your way to the staircase back to the library. But on the way you stop to take a whiz (pretty much a crap) and enter the recently white washed restrooms. As you approach the door of the toilet, you realize the eerie silence. This part of the building is not used frequently. Anyways, the call of nature is more important than the eeriness of the white slabbed cell.

You lock the door, double checking. Student union building toilets are never in one shape after drunken brawls. You do what every one does. Sit on the unusually clean toilet seat. Very unexpected. Normally all washrooms in this building are in bad shape. This is strange. Not even graffiti or phone number in this toilet. Hmmm…anyways.

You continue to ponder about the upcoming commercial law exam. Thinking about how to approach the exam and study schedule. You curse yourself silently for lagging behind in reading and shake your head while underneath Plopping sounds soothe your nerves and bowels. Plop. Plop…poonhhnnnh (in muted tone) ..Plop…ahhhhhh!

Then your mind wanders back to meaning of life and other sufi mystic things you have been filling your mind with..and then another Plop. You question the reason you continue to study when there is so much else to do….sigh! Plop….plopppppp. Poooohnnnhhhhhh! Ahhhh!

And then you dejectedly tilt your head downwards cursing yourself….’I am wasting my time here’. And then sitting bored on the toilet, you wish you had brought that student magazine with you, the one with the smell of toilet paper in it. You smile to yourself. Toilet is one last quiet resort to contemplate, well …sometimes.

You start inspecting the toilet walls around you. Pretty plain. Then you look on your right for the toilet paper roll. As you turn your head, you notice an interesting rectangular looking box just beside the toilet seat..hidden partially under the flush tank…Hmmm…what is this? …never seen this before in any university toilet.

You inspect closely. You see a sticker on which the words have partially disappeared due to moisture. You manage to read the words ‘SAN TEX’…………

OH SHIT!! YOU WHISPER you jump from the toilet seat. The realization is too harsh to absorb. The fact even embarrassing…last year of your uni life and I am to face my colleagues with this....if I am caught that is. How could I? didn’t I read the marking on the door before I entered?. I am sure I saw a male sticker..HOW COULD THIS BE!!!!! A whimper..a half sob… half giggle and half sob to yourself and you chest heaves with nervousness and sense of shame. Owww!!!

You sit back on the toilet seat with the head in your hands. Looking at the floor, you now start thinking of the quickest way to get out…you look around…for a window..none ..shit!

OkOk…take deep breaths…clean up what is left. And be ready to answer any awkward questions.

You clean up and get ready to peek out the door. Slowly you unlatch…and slightly open the door. Suddenly the outside door opens and two female voices enter. Your doubt is confirmed. This is a female toilet. How the F*** in the word could you have done that!!!! Is your concentration that bad? You Moron.

You quickly retreat into the cubicle. This is a disaster. You sit on the toilet seat lid. The girls are chatting away in high pitched tone, thankfully unaware of anything unusual. What could be unusual about a female in one of the cubicles. The girls chatter away. Talking about some other girl being bitchy and a cunt.

You snigger to yourself…’Well aren’t all?’..and shake your head at the vanity of the discussion. One of the female enters the cubicle next to yours. You can see her shoes thru the bottom gap in the cubicle.… .wearing blue jeans…seems high quality…hmmm…interesting….the girl continues to chatter from the cubicle. Suddenly she goes quiet. Realizes that there is another person in the next cubicle. You move your shoes out of her line of sight from near the gap.

The sound of flush and alas the girls exit the restroom. Their voices fading away but still high pitched. Shooh! Thank God. You wait one more moment. Hearing nothing from the corridor outside, you quickly unlatch the door and move towards the main door. Thankfully it is a quiet afternoon and lecture time. Not many expected around. As you exit…..a girl turns into the corridor. You have seen her before…in the of the bookish types but without the specs….she is a gori/firang. As you quickly move away from the entrance, but not quick enuf as she notices you. A funny look in her eyes. It’s a mocking look of shock as she shakes her head in disbelief. One of those given drunken brawlers on a Friday night…sob..sob…Life is so fucking cruel.