Monday, March 27, 2006

Flashing News - Garajti Khabrain

Today’s latest news from the land of camel shaggers.

Recently there has been news of cows. Especially, one cow. Apparently a fatwa has been requested from the Shoura council, regading a calf, whose mother is Danish but the father is Paksitani. The question..…. ‘can its milk be distributed in the market? Is it Halal? Can subsequently slaughteres meat be sold?’

The shoura has responded by asking further questions whether the Pakistnai father was muslim or not. The Fatwa inquiry continues.

In other news, rumors abound regarding the last delegation visit from Pakistan, one of the members was a senior director in the Pakistan International Airlines (PIA). It is said that on their tour of Makkah and Medinah, the PIA director was in a state of drunkenness. Apparently the delegation was allowed to enter the Kaabah, the holiest place of worship in Islam along with the PIA director. But he was not able to enter the premises of the Prophet’s house in Medinah due to, as locals believe divine interference.

On Saudi protests, the PIA director was relieved of his duties but with a golden handshake of 30 million rupees on return to Pakistan.

Returning to an old case as flashed in the previous edition of Garajti Khabrain. Akbar
Noonwala is said to have adopted Amar Seth’s son after Seth’s death on the toilet seat. Followers may recall that Amar Seth died due to an anal retentive shock after realizing Akbar noon Wala had no interest in reading ‘Kim by some Rudyard Kipling chap shap’. Akbar has promised that he will teach Amar’s son both Kim and Quran while living in Saudia.

Now, for news from else where. A new addition in the lion family has taken place in the Riyadh Zoo. Our field reporter’s investigation revealed that the new Lion was being fed on bananas for the past 6 months. According to zoo administration, the Lion was brought into Riyadh on a Monkey’s work permit.

Time for community news.

Five Indian Bengalis nationals have been detained in Nottingham airport for traveling on forged work permits as engineers. On being questioned by the Immigration the formula for water the Bengalis responded by Shouting ‘Netajee’ slogans over and over while raising their right arm like Hitler. Investigations revealed that they had arrived in Nottingham to assassinate a Mr. Amar Seth of Mansfield road, who wrote an article on Netaji Subhash Bose by depicting him as Traitor Jee.

In other community news, one Pathan man was clubbed to death by related tribe memebr near the Minar-e-Pakistan Complex. The argument started by the victim making fun of the long structure and calling it ‘the Penis of Paksitan’. The murderer overheard this and asked the victim to take his words back. An argument ensued resulting in the murder of the fun poking Pathan gentleman. On questioning the murderer responded his real reason for killing was because his sister was standing on top of the alleged ‘Penis of Pakistan’, at the time.

Mullah Hantush of the Virility sandwich fame has made a request to shoura to pass fatwa, whether circumcised monkeys can be used as assistants in the premises of the Grand Mosque. Readers will be updated on the status of this Fatwa.

In sports, After Mohammad Asif broke Tendulkar’s Calf muscle psychologically, Amar’s son has officially lost the bet to Anthony over the ponting –tendulkar batting score bet. Amar’s son has converted to Islam after realizing that Tendulkar as a God really fell. He is also considering moving to Pakistan to join madrassah to pay off his bet losses by selling AK-47 to Waziristan agitators. The bet cost him a Gutten Berg Bible classic edition.

That’s all for today folks.